Cornelius Clapworthy (Harrison Marks) and his sidekick Maurice Kelly (Alfie Bass) are two elderly forgers responsible for flooding the UK with Counterfeit money. On the run from their gangster boss Slasher (Ronald Fraser (actor)) and effeminate, cross-dressing government official Podsnap (Ken Parry), the pair escape to the Scottish Highlands and, posing as musicians, hide out at Bovington Manor, a hotel owned by Lady Bovington (Irene Handl), who is attempting and failing to run it as a Weight loss camp.